The official website of Melvin L. Clermont.

Sunday was a pretty chill day for me and I had some time to kill. I wanted to go out and do something because the next 5 weeks will be extremely busy for me and I hadn’t gone out to do anything extracurricular in a grip. This’ll be my last week of freedom for a while so I had to get out and make it count. I Like The Improv on Facebook and they had a free ticket deal for Dean Napolitano who was headlining. I thought about sharing the link thinking others would bite and asking around if anyone wanted to go but I didn’t feel like it. I had to do my research on Dean first. Never heard of him. I peeped some of his stuff on YouTube and it was all clean. I had to dig a little deeper for the dirty stuff (Hurricane Lakeisha being LOL funny) and when I found that, I knew it was a lock for me to go that night to see him.

I didn’t consult with anyone about anything and I guess that’s a perk of being single. When I wanna go do something, I just get dressed and go and that’s what I did on this occasion after reserving my ticket, of course. It’s pretty much that way for almost everything I do anyway. My spontaneous spirit will likely keep me out of a serious long term relationship and I’m understanding that more and more as time goes on. I know the woman I choose is gonna have to be one hell of a woman and she’ll complement my lifestyle and we can be spontaneous together. I’m patient. Since I flew solo, my only issue was parking. I could have parked off-property for free but had the impression that The Improv would validate my parking fully. I got my ticket at the box office and they said the servers do the validation. Came to find out I still had to pay 2 bucks even with validation. That fucking sucked. 2 bucks is almost a half a tank of gas at current prices.

At least I learned my lesson on that one. From now on, if I do anything at Pointe Orlando, I’ll call in advance and specifically ask if they do full validation. If not, I’m healthy, I got feet, and I don’t mind a good walk. It was good weather out. The movie theater there is the only place that I know with certainty that fully validates. I’d been to The Improv once before so I knew the drill. I got there a little early so I could eat. I was fucking hungry as hell and wanted to sample their menu beyond the cornbread. Throughout the night, I had the mac and cheese (good), salad with sweet and sour dressing (good), and fries (average). My waitress was attentive and I settled on drinking water for the night instead of the other non-alcoholic beverages she told me about like Snapple and virgin daiquiris. The damn daiquiris were expensive even without the booze in them. Like, 7 bucks. That’s too much for me for something to drink when water is free. I’d never had one before and I’ll try one someday but for half of that price. I ain’t like those alcoholics out there willing to spend upwards of 10 bucks for a bottle of beer. Man, FURK DAT! Not me. Surprisingly though, the beer on the menu was reasonably priced compared to arena, stadium, and theme park pricing. Around 5 bucks which ain’t bad. How much you get for that 5 bucks, you gotta ask them. I don’t drink.

I’m 6 feet and 180 pounds of real man. These days, thanks to my pedicab business, I always ask what the serving size is like when I order food. Like, how big the glass or dish is. My server kept saying it was a lot of food and the serving was big. When I got my food, yes indeed, it was a healthy serving for a larger person ready to tear some grub up but for me, it was snack-sized; that’s why I ordered so much food. The serving sizes weren’t enough to fill me up. What I really wanted was the fried chicken (I am black, after all) but she said it’s spicy and I can’t fuck with that. It got to the point where she was better off leaving the menu with me at the table because I kept ordering more food. There’s a candle on the table and it was sending my sinuses into overdrive. I had to move it to keep the snot from continuously flowing.

Showtime was getting closer and the crowd was getting bigger. Big in this case was no more than about 50 people. Very small crowd compared to the last time I was at The Improv when it was packed. It was too dark to tell if there were any hot chicks around and I’m not gonna hit on a waitress. I’m looking for more than a hook-up which ain’t hard to get for a guy like me. I didn’t wanna sit front and center like before. I sat at a table by myself in the center on the first level. The emcee was Myke Herlihy. I’d seen him before last time and at Universal Studios when he was doing magic there and hawking the flaming wallet which he’s still doing. His material this time was about the same as the last. When and how often comedians change up their shtick, I have no idea. Not that he wasn’t funny, I’d just heard and seen it all before. Based on the crowd response when asked who had been to The Improv before, it was new to most people there.

Let me just say that their chairs need more padding and are more suitable for smaller people. They keep the air temperature just right though. First up was a guy named Jersey. His gimmick is called, “Save a Haitian.” I just happened to have seen him online before and seeing him live was the same. He’s funny but I think his style of comedy would be better for a younger, more urban audience. Most of the people I saw were around my age or older. Not saying it wasn’t a diverse crowd but tickets were free and you get what you pay for. I’m sure those that pay to see him would fit his demographic more. When he finished, he did say when and where he was performing and to come out and support stand-up comedy. The problem with that is he also ended his routine by saying he smoked a lot of weed. If people pay to see him, where’s their money really going?

Next up was Gary Menke. It was clear both him and Jersey may not have liked the crowd size. Jersey’s set was pretty short. Menke took a while to warm up and when he did, he won the people over. He didn’t give up. He kept going and the laughs got louder and more frequent. That’s what a good comedian is supposed to do. No matter how many people are there, you gotta kill it every time. He was very funny and I can imagine the energy of a bigger audience. Like Jersey, he didn’t win any brownie points with the audience by saying that he smoked a lot of weed. And like Jersey, if you pay to see Menke, you already know that your money is going to support the drug trade. Drug jokes are okay. When done right, they’re funny. Jokes about the comedian using drugs usually aren’t okay. There are always exceptions. Weed is still a drug. I don’t think too many people would find it funny if anyone joked about snorting coke or popping pills. It’s a worldwide epidemic and I personally don’t find the weed jokes funny in the context that they were being used.

If you’re making fun of your past drug mistakes or other people’s bad habit, hey, that’s fine. If you’re talking about how you currently use drugs, weed or otherwise (including alcohol), and trying to glamorize the shit, to me, it just ain’t funny because you’re basically telling me you’re a drug abuser, you spend the money I’m giving you on drugs, and you’re making it seem like using drugs is cool. I’m enabling you by paying to see you and you’re enabling people in the audience who may not have an opinion about or experience with drugs. By presenting drugs in a jovial manner the way they are, they could be turning people in that direction without knowing it. Comedy is comedy, I get it. But society has a major problem and drugs are a big part of it. I’m inclined not to spend any money to see either one of these comedians based purely on the fact that any money going into their pockets supports the drug cartels, violence, unhealthy people, broken families, and misappropriated funds. As funny as both of them are, they don’t need to put that shit out there like that. They’re doing more harm, mainly to themselves, than good. You want my money? Cut the glamorization of drugs out of your routine. It ain’t cool and I never want to consider myself to be an enabler.

Drugs aside, are either of them worth paying for? Jersey, yes, but not too high on the ticket price and it depends on the audience and who else is performing with him. Menke, definitely, and it doesn’t matter who’s in the audience. He can deliver the laughs. He can headline an Improv show easily. He mentioned that he has kids. Set a better example, will ya? When it was Dean’s time on stage, he knows how to get the whole audience involved and keep the laughs coming from start to finish. He has good energy no matter the crowd size. Lots of foul language the whole night and that’s what I like. During his routine, some of what he said I had seen on YouTube so this wasn’t anything new for those that had seen him before. He was the headliner and he chalked it up to football for the low turnout. He did thank everyone for coming out since we all could have been doing something else but we chose to see him instead. I assume when there’s a low turnout, The Improv announces the free ticket deals. There’s bad free and good free. This was good free.

Dean is also an actor. His credits on IMDB say he was on an episode of Burn Notice, one of my favorite shows, and I guess it was a smaller part because I didn’t recognize him. Menke talked about how hot girls are these days but also how dumb most of them are when you talk to them and how they all look the same. I can agree with him on that because I write about that frequently. Herd mentality has replaced individuality. Dean talked about the differences between young people and when you get older how shit changes in your life; like your body, what you can eat, and when you have kids. I can’t relate to that at all. I’m in my prime right now. I never abused my body and I don’t want kids and I know those little rugrats can wear you down if you aren’t prepared for that. Most parents aren’t. I can relate to all of their Taco Bell references though (seems like they’re infamous amongst tokers and for promoting bowel movements) because most of their food does turn your asshole into a shit cannon. Not a good feeling.

Before the show started, they showed a video message with a guy talking about how there was to be no videotaping, no pics, and no heckling during the show because it’s distracting to the comedian. While Dean performed, one guy couldn’t figure out how much he wanted to tip his server. Another guy was given some sort of device to take a survey. Both were distracting to Dean and for that device, it was pretty funny how he was being sarcastic about the guy playing around on it instead of paying attention to his act. He does have a point and I’ll bet there was some seriousness in what he said but he made it work in his routine. When he’s doing dirty comedy, and he does cuss a lot, he’s a guy worth paying to see. He does use the audience a lot. In this case, everyone he integrated into the act, their name started with the letter ‘t.’ And for those that had kids, he correctly guessed that they had 2 boys and 1 girl. Who does he think he is, The Naked Mentalist?

I had a good time and it was worth the trip. Minus the drug bullshit that I talked about before, Jersey’s set was short and funny but not solo headliner funny. He has a long way to go before that can happen for him. Menke had more time on stage and he can headline. Dean had the most time on the stage and used it wisely, proving why he can headline. Jersey’s routine incorporates his audience and is based on their response. Menke makes a lot of pop culture references which most people can relate to. Dean talks about personal experiences and also includes his audience. The running gag of the night, and probably the funniest thing, was a guy sitting a couple of tables away from me that said he bought and resold goods when Dean asked what he did for a living and he translated it into the guy basically running a garage sale. Every time he made reference to it, it was hilarious.

Great comedy tonight but whatever you do, don’t support the drug trade until current laws are changed to end the useless war on drugs. We can use drugs to reduce the population and appropriate funds into the hands of the very many instead of the very few like it is now. Until that happens, don’t enable drug users because their money, which in this case is your money, is going towards funding the cartels and not back into the US or world economy the way it should be. This was only the second time I’d been to The Improv. Rickey Smiley is gonna be there this weekend but it looks like I’m gonna miss that due to me being at the PGA convention driving my pedicab. I missed him when he was in Tampa too. One of these days, dammit, one of these days. As Jersey said, support stand-up comedy. Don’t be a poser and say you like live comedy but never go to any shows.